It Started As Friends With Benefit Until I Got Pregnant

It all started when I met a man on Facebook and we exchanged contacts. He called me the very moment I gave my number to him. Our whole vibe picked up from that first conversation. He told me he was not married, but he had two kids with two different women. I asked him why and the explanation he gave me didn’t make sense. I didn’t have any interest in dating him so I didn’t make a fuss about it. and the whole vibe started from there. He is from Keta but he lives in Accra while I live in Sogakope. So our communication was always on the phone. That was until he proposed that we meet in person.

I was comfortable with the idea of meeting him so I agreed to it. He asked, “Would you like to attend the Hogbetsotso festival with me? If you will then I will pick you up at Sogakope so we go together.” I replied, “Sure, that will be nice.” We were just friends but we developed a rapport that suggested we could be more than friends. I wasn’t in a relationship with anyone so I was just enjoying getting to know Dela. We spoke and texted almost every day. As we got closer he suggested, “Why don’t we meet first before going to the festival together when the time comes? I have grown fond of you, and I wish I would see you sooner than later.”

Sincerely, he never said he was in love with me or anything. He just said he liked me, and I also liked him. We called each other friends but judging from the things we talked about, you could see that we were both open to having shuperu with each other. So I said yes to meeting him earlier than we planned. And we made arrangements for me to visit him in Accra. Initially, I wanted him to be the one to come to my end but he explained that his work schedule wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t have a job so it seemed reasonable that I would be the one to make the trip.

I went to his place on a Saturday evening and we spent the night together. Then I returned home the next day. A lot happened during that night, and all of it was consensual. No love, no commitments, we were just two friends who scratched each other’s itch. After my visit, we continued to talk like before. However, when it was time for the festival he said, “Sorry, I can’t go to the festival anymore. Plans have changed.” I told him it was fine even though I was a little disappointed.

After a few weeks of visiting him, I started seeing changes in my body. Which was typical for when I was about to get my period. But then my period was a no-show. That was when I started playing back everything that happened during my encounter with Dela. And fear gripped me when I realized that in the heat of the moment we forgot to use protection. I took a home pregnancy test and it confirmed my fears, I was pregnant. I texted him that morning on WhatsApp that I had something to discuss with him in the evening. But he called me immediately and asked if everything was okay.

“I am pregnant,” I told him. He didn’t even pause to breathe before blurting out, “Okay, keep it.” I asked him, “Are you going to support us and be actively present in our lives? You know I don’t have a job yet. Besides, I don’t want my baby to have an absent father.” In response, he said, “I will call you right back.” After some time he texted me on WhatsApp saying, “Didn’t you know you were ovulating for you to take care of it after we finished?” I replied, “No I didn’t know I was ovulating. Trust me, if I knew I wouldn’t have even visited you.” He didn’t reply to me, and I waited for his call but it didn’t come through. So I called him the next day. When he picked up he said, “I think you should get rid of the pregnancy. I wasn’t thinking properly yesterday when I said you should keep it.”

Truth be told, I’m diabetic so I’m scared that getting rid of it could give me further health problems. I explained this to him but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s encouraging me to do it. He is saying that there won’t be any risk involved considering that I’m only a month and a week gone. The thing is, I am not sure that I can go through it. I’m too scared. But here lies the case, I am unemployed, and can’t single-handedly support my pregnancy till I give birth. The other day I told him that he should give me the money for the abortion so I can use it for antenatal but he refused.

He hasn’t answered my calls since that day. I don’t know what to do now. I’ve never gotten pregnant before because I’m diabetic. I didn’t even think that it was possible for me to randomly get pregnant until now. Please how do I handle this?

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