Three Things I Wasn’t Enjoying In My Marriage I Enjoy Now – Kaffy

Kaffy & Joseph Ameh
Kaffy & Joseph Ameh

Popular dancer, Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau, aka Kaffy, surprised the world when she announced that her marriage to ex-husband, Joseph Ameh, was no more.

She cited a number of reasons for the marriage’s crash including infidelity. She said that she did not sleep with her husband and remained celibate for three years before her divorce.

In response to her accusations, her ex-husband came out to tell his own side of the story saying, “I made a lot of silly mistakes in my life and in my marriage

“I take full responsibility of all my foolishness with absolutely no excuses. However, I never slept with your best friend or close pals – neither have I ever been violent towards you, contrary to the narratives flying around about me.

“Anyway, It has been a year since the marriage officially ended. I’ve tried to move on and I do advice you do the same too. I wish all the very best to both of us as we move on maturely. The end of our marriage should not be the end of our lives.”

Well, Kaffy has indeed moved on and during a new interview with TVC, Kaffy was asked to mention five things she wasn’t enjoying in her marriage that she’s enjoying now. She was able to mention three.

Here’s what she said.

“Number one, becoming me. I didn’t do that well enough before I ventured.

“Two, I am enjoying all the knowledge that I should have gotten before I entered marriage. So I won’t say I wasn’t enjoying the marriage, it’s just that the principle of marriage requires certain structure that I wasn’t prepared for. So you can’t enjoy something that the foundation is shaky.

“Not because marriage is bad, I don’t want people to get that impression. There’s nothing wrong with marriage. It’s the two people coming together that need to be ready.

“There’s no perfection. Perfection is a myth. The only thing that you should have is progression. And be ready to grow. Humanity evolves, so you can’t be one person and be the same for the rest of your life. Don’t expect that from somebody else.

“Another thing I’ve realised I’m enjoying now is the journey towards self love. I think requiring love to come from my spouse was the most selfish thing I’d ever thought about. No human being should demand love from anybody else.

“If you can’t love yourself, you are going to continue to bleed on those who you should care about. Love is something that should not be requiring you to manipulate anything for it. It’s something you should express and understand the value of who you are vis a vis the value of the person who is receiving it from you.

“I think that’s where we get it mixed up. We sometimes give our pearls to swine. There’s no way they can understand the value, if you do not find someone who values you.”

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